Synopsis
"In the months after his father's suicide, it's been tough for 16-year-old Aaron Soto to find happiness again--but he's still gunning for it. With the support of his girlfriend Genevieve and his overworked mom, he's slowly remembering what that might feel like. But grief and the smile-shaped scar on his wrist prevent him from forgetting completely.
When Genevieve leaves for a couple of weeks, Aaron spends all his time hanging out with this new guy, Thomas. Aaron's crew notices, and they're not exactly thrilled. But Aaron can't deny the happiness Thomas brings or how Thomas makes him feel safe from himself, despite the tensions their friendship is stirring with his girlfriend and friends. Since Aaron can't stay away from Thomas or turn off his newfound feelings for him, he considers turning to the Leteo Institute's revolutionary memory-alteration procedure to straighten himself out, even if it means forgetting who he truly is.
Why does happiness have to be so hard?" (Goodreads)
A Great Narrator
This is Silvera's first published work and he did an excellent job. Aaron Soto truly has the voice of a 16 YO boy. Aaron has been through a lot of things, specifically the suicide of his father and his own attempted suicide. Despite this, Aaron has a good head on his shoulders. As the title suggests, he is truly trying to live a life that is "more happy than not." He is a kind boy, but he is also easily swayed by the judgement of his peers. He lets the way others perceive him (and their own happiness in regards to him) dictate his life. And yet, he almost seems proud of who he is. When he comes to the realization that he has feelings for his new friend, a boy, he doesn't really try to change himself. He kind of wishes that everything else would change and that it would be okay. In his attempt to keep the peace (and, selfishly, to protect his heart), he contemplates undergoing the Leteo Procedure, something that would completely alter his mind and memories and change the way he sees the world. Silvera wrote a character who is smart and tender, honest yet fearful.
An Interesting Twist
This book is contemporary, realistic LGBT fiction, but there's this added element of sci-fi in regards to the Leteo Procedure. Many reviews have reference the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So, though the story itself is grounded, there this futuristic way to fix issues that are often done with years of therapy, healing, and medication. Leteo is referenced regularly, but it is easy to forget about it until it is brought up again, and I think that's what makes the book unique. This aspect adds some tension and heightens the emotion.
Timely Reading
I finished this just a few days before the tragic shooting at Pulse in Orlando. In the book, Aaron finds himself seriously contemplating a life/memory-altering procedure when he realizes that he is gay. He isn't necessarily upset that he is gay. He doesn't hate himself. He just realizes that it complicates the way other people see him. He also knows the violence that his friends and neighbors are capable of, especially when it comes to people who are different than them.
It is so upsetting that something as simple as loving a person of the same sex can drive people to violence. In the case of Orlando, it was a tragic and frightening massacre. In the case of this book, and so many other situations, it can be a person beating you to the point of hospitalization...or worse.
I had no idea that I would be reading this book and, unfortunately, having something to compare it to not long after. That someone would want to change their mind, change who they love, simply to stay safe and appreciated in the eyes of their friends is heart shattering. And it has always been the case. It is why this book was written and it is why we have to stand together as allies and protect the people of this world.
Overall
4 stars
I thought this was a heart-breakingly beautiful book about self-acceptance and hope, and it is so great to see more diversity in YA. I will certainly be reading Silvera's work in the future.
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